Yesterday we began talking about dealing with difficult people. I encouraged you to look upon them with compassion rather than with anger. So often people are difficult because of the internal pain with which they struggle. They hurt others because they are hurting inside.
There is no doubt that we will all have difficult people that are challenging to get along. As much as we try to avoid them, they will always be there. It might be a co-worker, a church member, or a family member.
There is a good chance that person is in your life for a reason. You might be the one person who will represent Jesus in their life. You are called to love them, pray for them, and offer mercy. But that does not mean that you need to let that person into your inner circle.
There is enough negativity in this world that we don’t need more negativity from the people who are closest to us. We all need friends in our lives who encourage us. It is not to avoid difficult people. But make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who build you up rather than tear you down.
You may know the person who always complains. Every day there is something new. On Monday, they complain about the weather. On Tuesday, they complain about their job. On Wednesday, they complain about their spouse. On Thursday, you hope you don’t have to see that person because you are tired of the routine. That person is probably not a good person to have in your inner circle.
The point I am getting at is that you may need to get new friends. Consider the people in your life. Are you surrounding yourself with the right people or the wrong people? We all know how much our children are influenced by their friends. You are no different.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
We think about Jesus. He had three disciples in his inner circle. He had the 12 disciples just outside his inner circle. Then there was the crowd. There were different levels of intimacy Jesus experienced with each of those groups.
We are going to have very few intimate friendships in life. Make sure that those most intimate friendships (your inner circle) are with those who are going to make you a better person. It’s called setting boundaries. If we are not intentional about setting those boundaries in an ever-connected world, we can easily allow others to cross them.
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
Do the people closest to you sharpen you or do they make you dull? How do you go about getting more people in your life who will sharpen you? When we have the people closest to us building us up, it becomes much easier to minister to other people who may be working to tear us down.
Questions for Reflection
- How can you offer mercy and grace to difficult people?
- Who are the people closest to you? Do they build you up tear you down? Are there some boundaries you need to set?
- How do we develop the “right” relationships in life?
- Share your comments.
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