There no doubt you have dealt with difficult people in your life. The reality is that people are difficult. You should know that because you are a “people”, and I am certain there have been times where you were difficult. Interacting with people requires us to extend grace often.
While we recognize that all people are difficult, I am sure that when I talk about difficult people, there are a few specific examples that come to mind. In many ways, the way we relate to difficult people, tells us more about our relationship with God, than the way we interact with people that breath wind into our sails. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says:
For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Matthew 5:46–47 (ESV)
It doesn’t say much when we get along with those who are easy to get along. It says much more when we can build bridges with difficult people. So how do we do it? How do we get along? How do we build those bridges? How do we find peace in a difficult environment? Jesus says:
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you . . . Matthew 5:44 (ESV)
The key starts with prayer. The Apostle Paul says it when writing to Timothy.
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people . . . 1 Timothy 2:1 (ESV)
He doesn’t say to pray just for the people who are good to you. Pray for all people! Even those who you feel you are fighting against! Even for those who rub you the wrong way!
Something I have learned to be true is that it is hard to be angry with someone for whom you are praying. When you start to pray for someone you are angry towards, your anger melts into compassion. God begins to speak into your spirit. He gives you a new way of looking at that difficult relationship.
The reason the other person is difficult is because they are wrestling with things like insecurity, grief, and depression. Hurting people hurt others. Their difficult exterior stems from what they are struggling with on the inside. They are crying out for help but don’t know how to ask for help. The sad part is that by pushing other people away, they are making matters worse.
We will be talking more about this subject this week. To get us started, identify the “difficult people” in your life. Then start praying for them. Ask God to reveal the pressure points and give you a window into that person’s heart so that you can effectively minister to them.
Questions for Reflection
- Who are the difficult people in your life?
- Why are people so difficult at times?
- What are some things you have found valuable in dealing with difficult people?
- Share your comments.
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