I had some grand plans for this Coronavirus furlough. I had visions for cleaning the house, catching up on home improvement projects, being more consistent in my exercise routine, and getting more sleep. I thought of this time in the most idealistic ways possible. It was going to be a time of refreshment and renewal.

But I have to tell you that I have been feeling like a miserable failure. This has been one of the roughest stretches I have had in a while. I am eating junk food. I am not exercising. I have not been writing. I have been short with the people in my family as the stress has piled up. I have been as busy as ever with the work of the Church, trying to figure out how to do church in this new normal. I constantly feel as if I am behind, trying to catch up, trying to get a breath of air. There are things that I think I should be doing that I am not doing. There are other things that I want to do but find myself unable to do. There does not seem to be enough hours in the day.

I find myself tired — physically, spiritually, relationally, and emotionally. I find myself short on energy. And I have been hard on myself.

There are many times preachers are preaching to themselves. Those seem to be the most impactful messages. And the message I need to hear right now is the message of grace. God has extended his grace to me through the cross of Christ. And I need to extend that same grace to myself.

I too often rely upon my strength. But my value is not found in the things that I’ve accomplished. I am not measured by my shortcomings. My value is found in my identity as a child of God. I am measured by the righteousness of Christ.

Maybe you need to give yourself some grace. You are struggling with figuring out how to be a home school parent. Or you are struggling with making sense of what your work looks like in this new environment. Or maybe you find yourself watching endless hours of Netflix. It is easy to be hard on yourself and to think that you should be better. You think the answer is to try harder.

But what you need is a little grace. Sure, you can do better. We can all do better. But it is okay. We are all learning to navigate this together. None of us have been here before.

What is the source of that grace? It starts with God’s grace. Before you give grace to yourself, you need to know grace. You can’t give what you don’t have. So stop! Listen! Let him pour into you!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

(2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)

I am finding it difficult to get my head around all of this that is happening. Last night, I hosted an online prayer gathering for our church. We prayed for a long list of people who are affected by this crisis. I know how my life is being affected by this. But as we began to pray, I realized there are so many different situations where people are being affected in ways that I could not have imagined.

We may not be able to fully grasp all of this, but nothing comes as a surprise to God. Throughout history, there have been wars, famines, plagues, and natural disasters. It was in these times of crisis that serve as a catalyst for renewed faith and trust in God. When everything that we trusted in begins to fail us, we come to realize that God alone is our salvation.

During our prayer meeting I shared Psalm 63:1:

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1, ESV)

Here we are reminded that God is God. There is no other God. We may make idols of other things. We may think that our salvation is having enough bread, milk, or toilet paper on hand. We may think our salvation is having enough money in our checking accounts to weather the storm. We may think that our salvation is keeping ourselves isolated so that we don’t become infected. But before we need any of those things, we need God! God is our salvation! Jesus reminds us that we do not live on bread (milk, toilet paper, money, etc) alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God (see Matthew 4:4).

The second thing this Psalm reminds us to do is to seek the Lord. This especially true in a time of need. The Psalmist speaks of a dry and weary land where there is no water. We are entering into a time of scarcity where the abundance that we recently enjoyed is drying up. Seek him!

Jesus tells us to seek first the kingdom of God (see Matthew 6:33). The result is that all these things will be given to us as well. In other words, if we keep seeking him, God will take care of the rest. But it all starts with seeking him. Seeking him is opening up the Word. Seeking him is going to him in prayer. Seeking him is looking to do what he would have you do. Seeking him is joining together with other believers however we can.

Think about when you are hungry or thirsty. Your priority becomes food and water. You look for those things above everything else. In a time like this, you may be hungry and thirsty for many things. But my prayer is that our greatest hunger and thirst would be for the Bread of Life and Living Water. As a result, this hunger and thirst would drive us passionately pursue God in our lives.

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:13–14, ESV)

Your life is dramatically different today than it was last week at this time. Much has changed. Our normal routines have been dramatically interrupted. We are all learning a new normal caused by social distancing.

Furthermore, there is great uncertainty. We do not know what the future will hold. We do not know when this will end. And what will be the lasting impact this hiatus has on life?

Many of us may be anxious.

• How will I make ends meet if I am not able to work?
• Will I lose my job?
• What will happen to my retirement?
• Will I get sick?
• What if I run out of supplies and I can’t leave the house?

There is much that we might fear. In times of upheaval, we tend to focus on what has been lost. It is this concern about what might be lost that creates anxiety and fear. This is typically what comes to the forefront of our minds.

Consider however what might have been gained. What is the opportunity? We are all busy people. We always feel as if there is not enough time. We are constantly on the go. Maybe you have longed to have the opportunity to slow down. Now you are being forced to slow down. It may be inconvenient. It may be costly. But there is nothing you can do to change that now. Lean into this opportunity to slow down. Rather than dwelling on what is lost, focus on what is now made possible.

Here are some ideas:

• Read the book you have not had time to read.
• Get outdoors, go for a walk, and enjoy the fresh air.
• Start that new exercise program.
• Spend some quality time with your kids.
• Play a board game.
• Learn a new skill (cooking, sewing, woodworking).
• Learn to play a musical instrument.
• Organize your attic/closets.
• Start that new home improvement project.
• Get caught up on sleep.
• Organize your old photos.
• Call and reconnect with an old friend.

Feel free to share in the comments how you are taking advantage of this situation. Don’t waste this time by binging on Netflix or endlessly scrolling through social media.

Our church has lost the ability to physically gather together. But not all is lost. We are still able to gather together in our homes. We will be streaming songs and I will be sharing a message online. If your church doesn’t provide a similar opportunity I want to invite you to join us. I will be sharing more info about how to join in later this week.

In so many ways, it will like going back to the early church. Listen to these words from Acts:

“And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:46–47, ESV)

They did not go to church. They were the church! And they met in their homes! And the Lord added to their numbers those who were being saved!

Not all is lost. There is an opportunity gained! Disruption can be a good thing. When our routines are disrupted we are forced to consider what is most important – our relationship with God! We are made to examine why we do the things that we do. We learn not to take what we have been given for granted. What is God teaching you through the disruption?

My prayer is that God will use this time for spiritual renewal in our churches and communities. I am praying that he will use this time to open doors for the gospel message that those who do not trust in the Lord would come to trust in the Lord. May God heal us not just from Coronavirus, but may he heal our land of apathy, idolatry, greed, and more.

Come, Lord Jesus! Amen!

Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. (Joel 2:13, ESV)

Repentance runs deep. Joel describes returning to the Lord as rending your heart and not your garments. He is saying that repentance is more than superficial change. Repentance is a shifting of your attitudes, affections, and priorities.

When we face challenges, we look for a quick and easy fix. We often seek technical solutions for problems that are mired in complexity. Our problems are often bigger than our solutions. We have affections that should not be affections. We have priorities that should not be priorities. We have attitudes that should not be attitudes. If we are to experience true and lasting change the repentance will cut deep. Changes that are easy to make will likely have little impact.

Repentance is not something that comes naturally. Repentance is the working of God in us. It is the dwelling of the Holy Spirit that gives us a clean heart and renews within us a right spirit. (See Psalm 51:10). Repentance is having God perform spiritual heart surgery upon you.

There are two things that make repentance a work that goes beyond human will-power or wisdom. The first is our lack of desire to repent. The second is our lack of understanding of our need to repent. We need God to overcome both of these obstacles.

Lack of Desire to Repent

Repentance involves loss. That loss may hurt. The loss may be things that make us feel good but are ultimately harmful to us. It may be giving up a sense of control over things we can’t control. It may be pride and position that we need to forsaken because they are no advantage to us. Significant change will hurt. But there is greater pain if we do not change.

I often help people who know from an intellectual point of view that what they are doing is harmful to themselves and others. If knowledge was enough, there would be no problem. But there is a tremendous pull upon our spirits against what we know is best for us. We become stubborn and resistant to the new things God wants to do in and through us.

It is not will-power, it is the Spirit’s power that will overcome. Ask him for the courage and the help to make the change.

Lack of Understanding to Repent

Repentance is also hard because Satan works hard to convince us of the goodness of things that are not good for us. Without the mind of the Spirit, we are blind to the truth. We all have things about which we need to repent but don’t recognize.

Sometimes, we don’t want to see the need because we don’t want to see. Sometimes, the good I think I do is not good. Sometimes, the words I share that I think are helpful, are not helpful.

If I am confronted with the truth, I easily become defensive. The reason this happens is that I have an inward mindset that measures my words and actions by how they positively affect me. But if we turn to an outward mindset, we might see differently how our words and actions negatively impact others.

We pray for God to give us eyes to see what we cannot see even if it may be hard to see.

Reflection

1. Where do you need repentance in your life?
2. Where do you struggle to make the change you know you need to make?
3. How might you open your eyes and heart to things you need to change?
   

Prayer

Lord, I want to do what is right and what is best. But I am constantly pulled away by desires and affections that hold me captive. I want to let them go. I have tried to let them go. And sometimes I can push them away for a time, but they come back stronger. I know things need to change. But I do not have the strength over my fleshly ambitions. I need your Spirit. Cut deeply into my heart. Adjust my attitude and make it godly. Give me the discernment to pursue your abundant grace. Amen.