Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Ephesians 4:15 (ESV)
You can speak the truth without love. It is not hard to find examples. Just spend a little bit of time on the Internet and it will not take long to find. But there is not much to be gained from the truth without love. It only leads to bitterness and resentment. Speaking the truth without love will rarely produce positive change in another person.
But we must speak the truth. We are compelled to speak the truth because God is truth. Jesus says, ‘I am the Truth’ (see John 14:6).
While you can speak the truth without love, it is impossible to speak in love without truth. Speaking the truth can be hard. But the reality is that loving someone is hard. Loving someone is having the courage to say to another person something they may need to hear, but something they may not want to hear.
Speaking the truth may put a strain on a relationship. But if you can't speak truth in a relationship, then it is not much of a relationship. If truth is not a part of a relationship, your relationship will not be fulfilling.
Love demands courage. Love demands honesty. It takes wisdom. It seeks the guidance of God's Spirit. When you must speak truth, ask God to help you. The truth can be difficult because many people don't want to hear the truth.
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 Timothy 4:3–4 (ESV)
We know receiving the truth is not an easy thing. That is why it is so hard to speak the truth.
One of the best ways to learn to speak the truth to put yourself in the place of the other person. You probably know from experience the truth can be hard to hear. You certainly have examples where the truth was presented to you in good ways and bad ways. When you need to speak the truth, the loving thing is to put yourself in the shoes of the other person. If you were the other person, what would you want to know?
A final thing here: How receptive are you to the truth? How willing are you to receive from others what you don't want to hear. It is not fun. It may be unpleasant. At the same time are you willing to listen without taking the defensive? Can you appreciate when someone has the courage to share something difficult with you?
We have been talking about dealing with difficult people. Recognize that the person you identify as a difficult person might be considered difficult because they speak the truth you don't want to hear. Maybe the difficult person is not the other person. Maybe the difficult person is you. Ask God to give you insight and wisdom to see the other person's heart.
Questions for Reflection
- Why do you believe it is so often difficult to speak the truth?
- Why can we not separate the truth from love?
- How have you learned to speak the truth in love?
- Share your comments.
Leave a Reply