“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:12–14, ESV)
I have shared with you three of four resolutions I have for the New Year. The first was to be present in the moment. The second was to be present with myself. The third was to be present with God. The last is to be present with others.
It is a snow day here in New Jersey. We’ve got about a foot of snow on the ground. The kids are home from school. We have had fun playing in the snow. We also took time to take down our Christmas tree together. My daughter had a neighbor friend over for a little bit. It has been a wonderful family day just to be together. To be present with each other!
We have also had the iPads going and the video games. I currently have the laptop open while I write this post. So we have not been fully present with each other during every waking moment. There is a time to withdraw. But being present with others is about being fully engaged with each other when the time comes.
One of the ways we encourage this at home is by instituting “no screen” days. We have two days each week where the screens do not get turned on. There is no TV, phones, video games, or anything that has a digital screen. The kids also are not allowed to wear headphones. All of this is an effort to encourage interaction together.
Another thing we do as a family is that we take time at the dinner table to interact with one another. There is one conversation at the table. Each person gets to share. We will often ask a single question to each person to answer. We might ask for them to share what was the highlight of the day. It is about being present with each other.
Sometimes we have got our heads so buried in our gadgets that we miss what is going on right in front of us. We interact with people on social media but miss the opportunity to interact with the real people that are physically with us.
The issue of being present with others is not limited to turning off the phones. It is also taking the time to listen. Often we will be thinking about how we will respond to a person rather than listening to what they have to say. Being present is to listen for the sake of listening.
Ultimately, being present with others is to be available when God presents an opportunity to us. If we are present with others, we will inevitably encounter moments where we will need to offer compassion and help. Every person has hurts and pain. When we are present with others, we will recognize it and see in others people, things that are not obvious. This gives us the opportunity to witness to God’s love.
Reflection
- How do you focus on being more present with others?
- What are some of the ways you are distracted from being present with others around you?
Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank you that you are present with us. Your priority and ambition is your people. Help me be present with the people you put in my path. Give me an awareness of their emotions and their spirit. Give me wisdom to offer hospitality, to be welcoming, and to offer care. Amen.
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