True or False? Hurting people hurt others.
True!
We hear about all the violence in the news. In every instance, there is some hurt or pain in the life of a person who commits a crime. There is something that causes them to bring pain into the life of others. Ultimately, they lack love that brings healing from the pain.
Maybe you have been hurt in the past by someone else. It is easy to lash back at them. We get hurt so we hurt them back. It is only when we are healthy and whole that we respond in a better way. If hurting people hurt others, it is healthy people who help others.
You can’t give away what you don’t have. I could promise to give you $1000. But if I don’t have $1000 to give, it is an empty promise. Some of us have plenty of hurt in our lives, and so we give plenty of hurt. But many of us are bankrupt of love. If we don’t have it, we can’t give it.
The Scriptures say to love your neighbor. But I cannot effectively love others unless I learn to effectively love myself. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. If you can’t love yourself you are never going to be very good at loving others.
This is where so many relationships go wrong, especially marriages. We look to find love from another person. We don’t fully love ourselves, and we look for another person to make up the difference where the love is lacking in our lives. And so the relationship becomes an attempt to be loved and to be completed. We want the other person to make us whole.
The problem is that other person is not God. They are a sinner after God’s own redeeming. So we become dependent on this imperfect and love-starved person. We look for them to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. That is to love ourselves.
One person promises to give to another something they don’t fully have for themselves. Another person promises to give to the one person something they don’t fully have for themselves. It is a recipe for disaster. Both people end up hurt.
In the end, loving ourselves starts with depending upon God’s love for us. He is the only one where we will find perfect love. His love is the only love that will not let us down. The difference with God’s love is that he is not dependent upon our love. He is the only one filled with all the fullness of love and is able to give love fully. He has it to give it. And it is in him that you will find it.
Do you agree? Hurting people hurt others? Healthy people help others? The source of our love must come from God? Share your comments.
Paul Onder says
What comes to mind is FREEDOM! Are we to become ONE with Christ? In Romans Chapter 7 we are Free to become One with Christ because of the Law of Sin and Death is NO MORE! Perfect Love will only happen when we Marry ourselves to the LIFE of Christ! Amen.
Brianne Victor Gerzevske says
“He is the only one filled with all the fullness of love and is able to give love fully. He has it to give it. And it is in him that you will find it.” How much we hurt ourselves seeking love in imperfect places! Even within the confines of marriage, I cannot perfectly love or be perfectly loved. Our security is eternally in the blood and righteousness of God’s son. One day we will hurt no more and love wholly—I cannot fathom the magnitude. O Come, Emmanuel!