Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…
Colossians 3:23, ESV
We all want to be liked. But how does the saying go? “You can please some of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
You can’t please everyone, so stop trying to do so. I am not telling you to be a jerk. But there are boundaries that need to be set where you may need to make an unpopular choice. There are times when you may need to let someone down. There may be times when you have to give someone the answer that they don’t want to hear.
I have learned this lesson through my years of being a pastor. When I first began my ministry there was no length I not would go to help people with their problems. But something curious happened where I was sometimes doing more to help the person in their situation than they were doing to help themselves. My extra effort was enabling poor decisions on their part. I realized that what I was doing was more about me being liked than it was about truly helping the other person. Sometimes love is tough love.
Remember who it is that you serve. It is God we serve. Paul reminds us in Colossians that we are to work heartily for the Lord and not for people. Our motivation is to please God first. But that may mean that there are times when we will be unpopular and unliked.
If Jesus had been about people-pleasing he would not have spoken some of the hard truths that he did. He would not have found himself betrayed, arrested, and crucified. But Jesus was not out for popularity. His motivation was to live faithful to the Father’s will.
There is one last thing I will mention. When we speak the truth, we are called to do so in love. You may need to let someone down. But make sure that when you do it is out of love. It is not just what we say, but also how we say it. It is not just what we do, but how we do it.
Amen!
Thank you for this thoughtful reminder. It is okay to say “No”. But think about the best way to say it.