Person A has a problem with person B. Person A is upset with person C. Person A takes issue with person D. Person A is in conflict with person E.
Do you see the problem? The problem is not person B, C, D, or E. The problem is person A. That is the one thing that is consistent in each one of these situations.
Person A probably thinks they have good reason to be bitter with persons B, C, D, and E. Person A might have been hurt, wronged, or slighted. Person A begins to replay the offense over in their mind. Slowly resentment against the other persons begins to build. Something that might have been small is magnified. Something that was unintentional is determined to be intentional. An innocent mistake becomes a villainous conspiracy.
So Person A is convinced that their bitterness is justified. But bitterness is never going to serve Person A well. I have yet to see a bitter person that ever seems happy and fulfilled. That is why the author of Hebrews says, “see to it that… no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble.” But bitterness is something that we hold on to even though it “defiles” our relationships and makes us miserable.
Bitterness is something that grows like a weed. You have to cut it off at the source. If you have weeds in the yard and don’t pull out the root, those weeds will keep coming back. That is why the author of Hebrews warns not to let bitterness take root in your heart. Once it becomes established it becomes difficult to remediate.
How do we remediate it? Think about what is the opposite of bitterness. It is sweetness. It is the good news of the gospel. We sing in the hymn “Amazing Grace how SWEET the sound.” The sweetness of grace replaces the bitterness of resentment.
God had every right to resent us and be bitter towards us. He has done nothing but pour his love into our lives. But over and over we reject his love, his wisdom, his guidance, and his calling. Yet, he still offers grace and mercy. He is patient, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. There is no bitterness only grace.
The author of Hebrews encourages us to obtain the grace of God. It is done through the Word and Sacrament. And the more and more the grace of God rains down into our lives, as we are drenched in it more and more, it becomes ever more impossible for bitterness to find root.
Sandee Miner says
Thank you so much for this explanation of bitterness and how to rid yourself of it!
May God continually bless you and your mission.