Yesterday, I spoke about how forgiveness breaks the cycle of ungrace. Forgiveness says, “I don’t need a tit for a tat.” But realize that something is lost when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is not fair.
The very word forgiveness includes the word “give.” There is a sacrifice involved in forgiveness. The sacrifice is not on the one who is forgiven, but on the one who forgives.
Think about the cross. Our forgiveness is secured by the sacrifice that Jesus made upon the cross. There was no cost on our part. It is hardly fair that Jesus would die for our sin. The Book of Romans reminds us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (see Romans 5:8).
If we are to focus on another person being worthy of our forgiveness, we will never forgive. Forgiveness is not fair to the person giving it. But we can let go of what is fair because we have been treated more than fair by God. Plus, we have something greater than fairness. We have the joy of Jesus and the knowledge that our debt is paid.
Who Do You Have to Forgive?
Here is something I can say with certainty. You have been wronged. You have been hurt. You have been offended. You have been abused. You have been cheated. You have been lied to. You have been slandered. Every human being who has ever lived has been taken advantage of by others.
You have people who owe you an apology. You have people who owe you restitution. You have people who need to make right what they have wronged. They owe you a great debt, and they have no excuse.
Often, the deepest wounds have been inflicted by those closest to you – a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, or a trusted friend. You are justified in being bitter and angry. They have a $12,000 debt they have not repaid. You are right in demanding that they pay you back every single penny of that debt. You have convinced yourself to hold on to that debt at the expense of your relationship with that person and your relationship with God.
Here is my challenge for you: FORGIVE! There is no doubt that it will cost you to let go of that debt, but you will gain something more. Ask God to give you grace and the strength to let go and to give forgiveness. Do not to wait for that person to take the first step towards reconciliation. But YOU give grace God has given you.
Reflection
- What is lost when we forgive?
- What is gained when we forgive?
- Who do you have to forgive?
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