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April 4, 2014 By Phil Ressler 2 Comments

Giving up Loneliness

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Week 4: Friday

Scripture Verses

Psalm 28:1–9
Isaiah 53:1–3
Matthew 28:19–20

Questions to Consider

What are some of the causes of loneliness?
Why is it easy to be lonely in the crowd?
How do you overcome loneliness?
How does Jesus help us overcome loneliness?

Plan of Action

Invite a new friend to lunch or dinner. Invite them to play golf or go shopping.
Next time you are in a large group setting, look for a person who looks awkward or uncomfortable and seek to engage them and learn a little bit about who they are and why they came to the event.
Make a goal to meet one new person each week before or after worship on a Sunday morning.

Reflection

We have more ways to connect than ever before. We may have hundreds of friends and followers on sites like Facebook and Twitter. But there is an increase in isolation and loneliness. While our relationships may have grown wider, they have often grown more shallow. We have more relationships than ever before, but seemingly fewer meaningful and deep relationships. It’s ironic that in a hyper-connected world, loneliness has become an epidemic. We are increasingly isolated from one another. We have become lonely in the crowd. This video on Vimeo captures the essence:

8,336,615 (New York) from Paul Riccio on Vimeo.

So today we are giving up loneliness and isolation.

God created us to live in relationship with him. We may be lonely, but we are not alone. God is our first and most important relationship in life. If our relationship with God is right, our other relationships in life will also be right. If our relationship with him is not right, our other relationships in life will not be right. If you have a relationship that you are struggling with, consider what part of your relationship with God might need attention.

When it comes to our relationship with others, recognize God created us as social beings. Companionship is a basic human need. God wired us this way. In the same way he created us to live in relationship with him, he created us to live in relationship with each other. He did not create us to live separate from one another, but to journey through life together.

Making a friend starts with being a friend. The calling of Jesus is not to wait for someone to befriend us. The calling is to go and be the friend to others. Jesus came as the friend of sinners (Luke 7:34). As we follow in the footsteps of Jesus we recognize there are many lonely people in need of a friend.

I know there are many introverted people who are reading this email. You are uncomfortable engaging with others, but it is time set aside that fear. Any time you are in a group of people, you are certain to find some people who feel uncomfortable, awkward, and out of place. They need a friend. Because of your potential feelings of awkwardness, you just might be the best person to engage them. You can serve them by engaging them and helping to make them feel comfortable.

Are you still afraid? Then ask God to change your heart towards other people. Rather than being worried about their perception of you, ask God to give you a heart to serve them. Stop looking at the situation from the perspective of what other people may think about you. Start with the perspective of God’s calling. God’s calling is never easy and it is always about loving and serving others. It will lead you to walk across the room and engage others you previously would have ignored. In the process you discover a new friend. You may be lonely, but you are not alone. God has put people all around you to serve.

Next: Disunity

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April 3, 2014 By Phil Ressler Leave a Comment

Giving up Busyness

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Week 4: Thursday

Scripture Verses

Luke 10:38–42
Matthew 11:25–30

Questions to Consider

Why do we value busyness?
How does busyness hinder our relationship with God and others?
How do we overcome busyness?
How does Jesus help us overcome busyness?

Plan of Action

Take a nap. Rest. Relax. Recognize you busyness is only wearing you out.
Make a check list of the things you need to do. Then set it aside to spend some quality and quantity time with friends and family.
Give yourself a deadline to get your work done and stick to it. In other words, give yourself a shorter amount of time to get your work done. We typically expand our tasks to the amount of time we allow for them.

Reflection

I love check boxes. I love to-do lists. It feels good when I’ve got a long to-do list, and I am able to scratch a bunch of things off that list. It leaves me with a sense of accomplishment. I feel good about myself. I like to be busy.

We wear busyness as a badge of honor. We are asked how we are doing and our response is: “Busy!” In our fast-paced culture, we might almost think that there is something wrong if we are not busy. Everyone else is so busy.

But busyness does not always translate to effectiveness. Have you ever had that day when you felt like you were so busy, but wondered what you actually accomplished? Busyness alone does not bear fruit and it is not necessarily what God desires from us. The truth is that our busyness can actually hinder what God wants to do in our lives.

Busyness makes it about what we do rather than about the relationship we have with God. But we love our checkboxes.

We feel as if we can check all the right boxes and then we will be good with God. But imagine if you made your relationship with your spouse about a bunch of checklists. Our spouses are more than a box to check on our to-do lists. It is the same way with God. We cannot limit him to a checklist.

So let’s give up busyness today. In the end we will discover we spent a lot of time doing things that really did not matter. Let’s focus on what most important. In the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38–42 Martha is busy serving Jesus while Mary sits at his feet. Jesus says to Martha:

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41–42 (ESV)

Notice Jesus does not say many things are necessary. He says one thing is necessary. So relax. Your busyness for God is not doing anything but wearing you out. God is not counting your checkboxes and neither should you.

Religion is about checkboxes, but Jesus did not come to give us more religion. He came to give us a relationship and rest for our souls!

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29–30 (ESV)

Next: Loneliness

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April 2, 2014 By Phil Ressler 4 Comments

Destructive Speech

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Week 4 Wednesday

Scripture Verses

James 3:1–12
Matthew 15:1–11
Psalm 8:1–9

Questions to Consider

When have you said something you would rather not have spoken?
What are the consequences of speaking profanity and other words of impurity?
How do we tame the tongue?
How does Jesus help us speak words that are pure and holy?

Plan of Action

Compliment someone today. Make sure it is sincere.
Sing a song of praise. Read a psalm of praise. Psalm 8 is a good place to start.
Eliminate any words from your vocabulary that even hint towards taking the name of God in vain.

Reflection

Do you remember the Smurfs? The Smurfs had a very limited vocabulary. They would smurf every word. They would smurf this and smurf that. Everything was smuf-tastic. Humans have done much the same thing as the Smurfs, but instead of using the word “smurf,” humans use words of profanity.

The Wolf of Wall Street set a record for profanity for a US feature film. This movie used a certain profane word 506 times in a span of 180 minutes. The scary thing is that this is not all that surprising when we consider the landscape. Profanity has become a common form of speech. As a father of young children I am reluctant to take my children to professional sporting events. Even on trips to the local supermarket, you are not sure what you might hear.

But before we are quick to point the finger at others around us, we must be sure to tame our own tongue. In the Ten Commandments we are told not to take the name of the Lord our God in vain. Yet, I often hear Christians say, “Oh my God” in very flippant ways. We need to be careful about the context in which we call on God and to hold his name in high regard.

We strive to use God’s name in a context of worship. In the Old Testament God was named Yahweh. God’s people so revered the name that it was a name that went unspoken. Instead of using the name Yahweh, they would call him Adonai. Adonai is translated “the Lord.” That is why in many Bible translations you will often see “the Lord” written with small capital letters like this: THE LORD. We would do well to hold God’s name in a similar regard.

The Bible says:

With it (the tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. James 3:1 (ESV)

Today we strive to tame our tongues. We seek to use our words to be a blessing rather than a curse. This is about more than just purity of speech. This involves the words we speak about others and towards others. These destructive patterns of speech include:

Gossip – is described in Proverbs 18:8 as delicious morsels that go down in the inner part of the body.
Innuendo – A close cousin of gossip; to infer something about someone without actually saying it.
Flattery – This is saying to a person’s face what you would never say behind their back.
Criticism – A favorite among Christians, to make us feel good about ourselves.
Diminishment – A close cousin to criticism, this is when we continually trivialize, minimize, and find fault in another person, effectively demoralizing them.

Words have immense power, more than we realize. James 3:4 likens the tongue to the rudder of a ship, which although small, has the power to turn the ship in any direction. In the previous verse (James 3:4), the tongue is likened to a bit in the mouth of a horse. With the bit in the mouth of the horse, even a 100 pound human can control a 600 pound animal. The point is that our words have power.

As we ponder the sacrifice of Jesus this Lenten season, we realize his name means everything. May our lips speak words which exalt him and build up others.

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. Psalm 51:15 (ESV)

Next: Busyness

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April 1, 2014 By Phil Ressler 1 Comment

Giving up Mediocrity

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Week 4 Tuesday

Scripture Verses

Mark 12:41–44
1 Timothy 4:6–16
Deuteronomy 6:4–9

Questions to Consider

What are the characteristics of an offering (not just money) acceptable to God?
Why should we strive to give God our best?
What are some ways to strive to give God our best?
How does Jesus help us to give God our best?

Plan of Action

Think about all the ways you serve God. Maybe you play an instrument at your church. Maybe you serve as part of an administrative team. Maybe you volunteer in your local community. What is one way you could improve and grow in your area of service? It might mean reading a book. It could be attending a conference or seminar. It might be taking lesson. If you seek to grow just a little bit each day, it is amazing how much you will grow over time.
Ask someone to critique your work or service for God. Ask them how you might improve what you are doing. Then listen to them.

Reflection

In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. Genesis 4:3–5 (ESV)

Two brothers brought an offering to the Lord. Abel’s offering was accepted. Cain’s offering was rejected. Able brought the best of his flock. Cain brought something less.

Jesus not only gave it his best, he gave everything. It is our desire to honor him. We don’t offer our best to him because our best is required. We offer our best out of love and joy for what he did in our behalf.

Today we are giving up mediocrity. We are giving up on giving God less than our best. We will strive for excellence. It doesn’t mean we will always attain it, but excellence is what we will aspire towards.

I live with a holy discontent. The idea is I am never quite satisfied with what I offer to God. Whether it is preaching on a Sunday morning, writing this email, or teaching a Bible study, I am looking for ways to grow and to improve the effectiveness of what I am doing. I certainly find satisfaction in what I offer today, but I am looking for what I can do to make even better what I do tomorrow.

This involves having a teachable spirit. This involves being open to critique and listening to criticism. This is about being humble and recognizing I have room to grow and much to learn. Even though I may be accomplished in a given area, I strive to become more accomplished.

The problem is our fear of critique and criticism. Our pride gets in the way. We fear our areas of growth and improvement are a commentary on our worth and value. To open ourselves up to critique puts us in a vulnerable place. That is not a comfortable place to be and so we close ourselves off to it.

Giving our best is often not about trying harder. It is about being open. It is about listening. It is about humbling ourselves. It is about considering another path and taking a step of faith.

What I offer to God may not be “the best.” But I will strive to offer “my best.” At the end of the day I will find satisfaction in that I accomplished all I could for God empowered by the Holy Spirit. I leave with this prayer from God’s Word:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 (ESV)

Next: Destructive Speech

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March 31, 2014 By Phil Ressler 3 Comments

Giving up Giving up

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Week #4 Monday

Scripture Verses

Romans 12:9–21
Luke 18:1–8

Questions to Consider

Are there areas of your life where you felt like giving up on God because he hasn’t come through?
Why do you think God is “slow” to fulfill his promises?
What does it mean to be persistent with prayer?
How does Jesus help us to continue to trust in God when we feel like giving up?

Plan of Action

Make a list of things you wanted, but never got. These are things that now as you look back you are thankful that God didn’t answer your prayer in the way you wanted.
During Lent people practice fasting and deny themselves. One of the things about fasting is that we savor that first meal we partake after the fast. If you fast, think about how enjoyable that next meal is and how much better that meal is because you waited for it.
God isn’t answering something in the way you expect. Start praying on it and start opening the Bible to see what God has to say about it.

Reflection

Today is opening day for baseball! I am a long-suffering fan of the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs are famous because they have not won a World Series in more than 100 years. I have often been tempted to give up on them. What keeps me going is that I believe this might be the year. They may never win, but I will never give up!

Some of us may feel as if we are long-suffering when it comes to the promises of God. For example, Jesus says:

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 (ESV)

But many of us are experiencing less than that full and abundant life. We have given up hoping for more and we have settled for something less. Maybe you prayed. It didn’t work. You went to church. It didn’t work. You did everything you could think of, but nothing changed. Rather than thriving, you have settled for surviving.

Jesus tells the story of the persistent widow. She goes to the judge asking for justice. She doesn’t get what she asked for. She keeps going back again and again. Finally, she wears the judge down to the point that the judge gives her justice so that she will stop bothering him. Jesus responds to this story by saying:

And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? Luke 18:7 (ESV)

The answer is not so much in us trying more, but in trusting. God keeps all his promises. Maybe not in the way or in the time we expect. There are many things that we don’t understand about God. We are told God’s ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts are greater than our thoughts (see Isaiah 55:9). We are also told that God is not slow in keeping his promises as some understand slowness (see 2 Peter 3:9). This is where trust comes in. Trust that everything will happen in God’s right time (see Galatians 4:4). Trust that he loves you. Trust that he knows what he is doing. Trust that he will respond at the right time.

I don’t have all the answers but here are some reasons not to give up on God:

He is using this time grow your faith and confidence in him.
He is using this time to bring you back to him and is waiting for you to call out to him.
He is teaching you patience.
He is waiting for you to repent of a persistent sin of which you are currently living unrepentant.
He wants you to pray.
He has something better in store that is beyond what you are expecting.
He is opening a different door of opportunity that you don’t yet see because you are not looking for it. You are anticipating God to respond in the way that you expect so you are unable to perceive him responding in a different way.
There is a step of faith you are not willing to take.

Remember God is God. Those are a few of my thoughts, but my thoughts don’t compare to his. So don’t give up. Expect more. God is on the move and is able to do immeasurably more than you can imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Next: Mediocrity

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